Anyone using stumbleupon lately has noticed a large number of stupid and poorly designed sites popping up more than sites with decent content and design. Too many shitty Web 1.0 style travel sites and self promotional shitty architectural sites.
It is obvious that stumbleupon is suffering from the wikipedia effect of self interested people using the system to promote their own crappy websites, which of course devalues stumbleupon and my use of it.
I predict that stumbleupon will not last long, people are not willing to put up with spam. digg and other sites will gain ground because stumbleupon will be viewed as a tool to be exploited by companies with shitty advertising strategies.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
What's wrong with SNL
In a quick word, ditch the cue cards.
in the 70's what made the for the best Carol Burnett episodes?
- The Tim Conway and Harvey Corman chemistry made for great entertainment. We never knew when one would throw the other off we waited for it and usually were rewarded once or twice per show.
What made the best Kids in the Hall episodes?
-bizarre unexpected cuts to tragic characters in distress
What made the best SNL episodes?
-Comedians performing well honed characters and impersonations, fake TV commercials, and show openers that are politically and socially timely and cutting.
What made the best Johnny Carson shows?
-the unscripted and unpredictable moments with guests, along with his opening monologue and precise comedic timing.
MAD TV ?
-pop culture parodies galore from running gags like Spisshack and Lowered Expectations, Kenny Rogers, Stephen Segal, Oprah and wild Dr Phil impersonations
For SNL, i have a feeling that the rigours of executing a safe and predictable live show along with the desire to keep employed at a high profile show, and fall in line with the acceptable limits of NBC's humour are enough pressures to bevel the edge off any performer.
I wonder what would the show look like if the current cast owned it and had full control of its content without corporate breathing down their backs?
Tracy Morgan, I watched him on SNL years ago and i wasn't sure what i was witnessing. A funny guy mechanically reading cue cards staring at them like a life line. Similar to what he did tonight.
Watching him on 30 Rock has been pure joy, he is hilarious and over the top. On Jimmy Fallon last week i could see that the crazy character he plays on 30 Rock is a subset of who he really is. Why did it take Tina Fey's admiration of Tracy to give him the justice on screen he deserves? Why SNL failed Tracy Morgan points to a long history of the cardboard box execution of the live show and heavy reliance on cue cards.
On the Fallon Late Night Show Tracy said going back to SNL was like going home. No doubt, I'm sure the whole week developing the show with co-writers, comedians, familiar staffers, and Executive Producer Lorne Micheal's is a fantastic and celebratory High School Prom Night experience, topped off with a night long Saturday evening post show party on the town. I assume the creating of sketch ideas and characters is like a frat house of pranks, inside jokes, and all the good stuff that makes for lifelong friends and memories, but the night of the show, as a viewer I often feel that the final product is probably more important to the performers memories of the week making the show than to the audience who tunes in expecting to witness a history making performance or two as it happens live.
As a kid i watched the first episodes on TV. I don't remember all the episodes but in particular i do cherish the memory of John Belushi impersonating Joe Cocker, even though as a child i'd never seen Joe Cocker. Intense, electric and over the top, a slow walk in the park turned into a run for your life tornado all in a short performace. Later in life i did meet Mr Cocker in person when i worked at Kingswood Music theatre in 1987, the insane impersonation from Belushi still lived with me and i chuckled quietly to myself every time i saw Joe and his organized clipboard notes speaking in his prim and proper soft, educated English voice, while discussing performance particulars with the brass section, i waited for him to freak out in a spasm at any time, it never happened then and only briefly during the performance did he stand on his toes and clench his fists, thanks SNL for dementing me at a young age.
When i watch the show more often than not i feel that most performances are stale and teleprompter driven combined with old fashioned stiff directing and unionized switcher operation.
As a viewer/observer this is how it appears: the switcher/show director will punch in the person about to speak, the actor will clearly be staring into the distance at the cue cards or teleprompter, standing or sitting still, they begin a stale delivery with a 'look-at-me-everybody' smile, finish the sentences then the switcher will punch up the second person, a brief pause occurs while the second person finds their spot on the teleprompter and they begin reading their lines with a similar 'hello mom' smile. Out to a brief two shot, back to the reader, out to a two shot again then back to person #1 to deliver stale teleprompter lines again. If there was a need for a prerecorded flashback there is almost always a 2 second delay of uncomfortable silence combined with the source not cued to the proper point. This is a digital world people, BAM it should be ready to go like a keyboard player hitting a sampled note.
Am i alone or is the "VTR" or playback operator clearly a union employee with a malicious obedience problem?
Ya... shows like Mad TV, and Comedy Inc, do a zillion takes and let comedians go nuts which makes for a great package after the editing process. But... if Lorne Michael's is listening i would urge him to let down his hair in his old age and allow for some unscripted shenanigans during performances in the spirit of Carol Burnett, Harvey Corman and Tim Conway.
What would happen if actors knew that one sketch would be steered off track gradually into an all out improv but never knew when or who it would happen to? What is wrong with watching actors experience uncomfortable moments not knowing how to respond to surprises then waiting for an even better comeback or being rescued by others? We are all having fun then aren't we? The viewers, audience members and cast are all part of a flowing performance that we know ends with a break to a commercial, but take us there in a Ferrari on a roller coaster please.
General show observations.
Tracy Morgans safari sketch could have used some more prerecorded prep materials, more flashbacks, less lip makeup, and better stage setup with both actors positioned more closely instead of appearing to be performing in different rooms. I thought it was at first promising but quickly became stale, badly timed delivery, interaction, and cueing of premade elements made for an all round dud.
Killer John Malcovich impersonation on the News Segment.
Suppress-ex was well done with the exception of Tracy reading cue cards held too high. Sitting still with little animation, hands on knees.
One of the things that Chris Farley did very well was that he always appeared to be moving and doing something within character that contributed to the performance regardless if it was his turn or not to read cue cards.
So where does SNL consistently shine?
#1 the News Segment. Allows for everyone to bring their A game impersonations, musical talents and comical observations to the viewers. The News spawned and showcased many people that went on to great career successes, Chevy Chase, Jane Curtain, Gilda Radner, Norm MacDonald, Adam Sandler, and Tina Fey to name only a few.
#2 Killer character(s) that are allowed to milk it week after week.
Eddie Murphy doing James Brown, and the Kill my Landlord character in my opinion was the ultimate pinnacle of SNL, also Will Ferrel cheerleader sketches, Chris Farley doing Coach Ditka, the motivational speaker, Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin and others who have finely crafted comical clones.
#3 Game show gags.
When all else fails fall back to a game show parody with clued out contestants, pissed off straight man host, and malfunctioning props.
#4 Animated shorts,
from the old Mr Bill bits that were so terrible they were brilliant, to Ace, Gary and their two codpieces, fun with audio, Scooby Do ripoffs.
#5 Prerecorded parodies, fakes tv commercials, and skits, Dick in the Box, I'm on a boat, Colon Blast cereal, and more.
where do you think SNL could do better?
in the 70's what made the for the best Carol Burnett episodes?
- The Tim Conway and Harvey Corman chemistry made for great entertainment. We never knew when one would throw the other off we waited for it and usually were rewarded once or twice per show.
What made the best Kids in the Hall episodes?
-bizarre unexpected cuts to tragic characters in distress
What made the best SNL episodes?
-Comedians performing well honed characters and impersonations, fake TV commercials, and show openers that are politically and socially timely and cutting.
What made the best Johnny Carson shows?
-the unscripted and unpredictable moments with guests, along with his opening monologue and precise comedic timing.
MAD TV ?
-pop culture parodies galore from running gags like Spisshack and Lowered Expectations, Kenny Rogers, Stephen Segal, Oprah and wild Dr Phil impersonations
For SNL, i have a feeling that the rigours of executing a safe and predictable live show along with the desire to keep employed at a high profile show, and fall in line with the acceptable limits of NBC's humour are enough pressures to bevel the edge off any performer.
I wonder what would the show look like if the current cast owned it and had full control of its content without corporate breathing down their backs?
Tracy Morgan, I watched him on SNL years ago and i wasn't sure what i was witnessing. A funny guy mechanically reading cue cards staring at them like a life line. Similar to what he did tonight.
Watching him on 30 Rock has been pure joy, he is hilarious and over the top. On Jimmy Fallon last week i could see that the crazy character he plays on 30 Rock is a subset of who he really is. Why did it take Tina Fey's admiration of Tracy to give him the justice on screen he deserves? Why SNL failed Tracy Morgan points to a long history of the cardboard box execution of the live show and heavy reliance on cue cards.
On the Fallon Late Night Show Tracy said going back to SNL was like going home. No doubt, I'm sure the whole week developing the show with co-writers, comedians, familiar staffers, and Executive Producer Lorne Micheal's is a fantastic and celebratory High School Prom Night experience, topped off with a night long Saturday evening post show party on the town. I assume the creating of sketch ideas and characters is like a frat house of pranks, inside jokes, and all the good stuff that makes for lifelong friends and memories, but the night of the show, as a viewer I often feel that the final product is probably more important to the performers memories of the week making the show than to the audience who tunes in expecting to witness a history making performance or two as it happens live.
As a kid i watched the first episodes on TV. I don't remember all the episodes but in particular i do cherish the memory of John Belushi impersonating Joe Cocker, even though as a child i'd never seen Joe Cocker. Intense, electric and over the top, a slow walk in the park turned into a run for your life tornado all in a short performace. Later in life i did meet Mr Cocker in person when i worked at Kingswood Music theatre in 1987, the insane impersonation from Belushi still lived with me and i chuckled quietly to myself every time i saw Joe and his organized clipboard notes speaking in his prim and proper soft, educated English voice, while discussing performance particulars with the brass section, i waited for him to freak out in a spasm at any time, it never happened then and only briefly during the performance did he stand on his toes and clench his fists, thanks SNL for dementing me at a young age.
When i watch the show more often than not i feel that most performances are stale and teleprompter driven combined with old fashioned stiff directing and unionized switcher operation.
As a viewer/observer this is how it appears: the switcher/show director will punch in the person about to speak, the actor will clearly be staring into the distance at the cue cards or teleprompter, standing or sitting still, they begin a stale delivery with a 'look-at-me-everybody' smile, finish the sentences then the switcher will punch up the second person, a brief pause occurs while the second person finds their spot on the teleprompter and they begin reading their lines with a similar 'hello mom' smile. Out to a brief two shot, back to the reader, out to a two shot again then back to person #1 to deliver stale teleprompter lines again. If there was a need for a prerecorded flashback there is almost always a 2 second delay of uncomfortable silence combined with the source not cued to the proper point. This is a digital world people, BAM it should be ready to go like a keyboard player hitting a sampled note.
Am i alone or is the "VTR" or playback operator clearly a union employee with a malicious obedience problem?
Ya... shows like Mad TV, and Comedy Inc, do a zillion takes and let comedians go nuts which makes for a great package after the editing process. But... if Lorne Michael's is listening i would urge him to let down his hair in his old age and allow for some unscripted shenanigans during performances in the spirit of Carol Burnett, Harvey Corman and Tim Conway.
What would happen if actors knew that one sketch would be steered off track gradually into an all out improv but never knew when or who it would happen to? What is wrong with watching actors experience uncomfortable moments not knowing how to respond to surprises then waiting for an even better comeback or being rescued by others? We are all having fun then aren't we? The viewers, audience members and cast are all part of a flowing performance that we know ends with a break to a commercial, but take us there in a Ferrari on a roller coaster please.
General show observations.
Tracy Morgans safari sketch could have used some more prerecorded prep materials, more flashbacks, less lip makeup, and better stage setup with both actors positioned more closely instead of appearing to be performing in different rooms. I thought it was at first promising but quickly became stale, badly timed delivery, interaction, and cueing of premade elements made for an all round dud.
Killer John Malcovich impersonation on the News Segment.
Suppress-ex was well done with the exception of Tracy reading cue cards held too high. Sitting still with little animation, hands on knees.
One of the things that Chris Farley did very well was that he always appeared to be moving and doing something within character that contributed to the performance regardless if it was his turn or not to read cue cards.
So where does SNL consistently shine?
#1 the News Segment. Allows for everyone to bring their A game impersonations, musical talents and comical observations to the viewers. The News spawned and showcased many people that went on to great career successes, Chevy Chase, Jane Curtain, Gilda Radner, Norm MacDonald, Adam Sandler, and Tina Fey to name only a few.
#2 Killer character(s) that are allowed to milk it week after week.
Eddie Murphy doing James Brown, and the Kill my Landlord character in my opinion was the ultimate pinnacle of SNL, also Will Ferrel cheerleader sketches, Chris Farley doing Coach Ditka, the motivational speaker, Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin and others who have finely crafted comical clones.
#3 Game show gags.
When all else fails fall back to a game show parody with clued out contestants, pissed off straight man host, and malfunctioning props.
#4 Animated shorts,
from the old Mr Bill bits that were so terrible they were brilliant, to Ace, Gary and their two codpieces, fun with audio, Scooby Do ripoffs.
#5 Prerecorded parodies, fakes tv commercials, and skits, Dick in the Box, I'm on a boat, Colon Blast cereal, and more.
where do you think SNL could do better?
Sunday, March 8, 2009
The Rock on SNL
What do you call a person who has changed careers successfully to acting in the big smoke of LA LA and NYC? What do you say to a person that is extremely tall and muscular, tatooed, can fight like the dickens, and can come out on stage time and time again with a childish smile, a raised eyebrow and a willingness to be vulnerable by trying to sing and dance in old school big time musical style? What names do you call him? or do you do as i did just sit back and watch with amazment at his untapped talent?
Not only that but he is an uncrass polite gentleman in his delivery and performances. He is a team player who lets everyone share the spotlight. Much like Barack Obama.
The Rock Obama sketch was a huge hit for him and SNL. I sincerly hope they bring him back to more of these episodes like SNL has done with the MacGruber/MacGuyver small hits between sketches. On a side note this Mad TV style of ongoing gags is a receipe for success - remember the fake Spisshack product ads that Mad TV would run, or the Lowered expectations gags?
It was truly a stand up horray performance in your own living room to see the Rock become the angry Obama throwing knuckle headed Rebulicans through a window. We all want to see in real life Obama do the same to these people who put us all here in the first place, esp John McCain.
I was struck by his own knowlege of power and respect for women when he chose to carefully place his female rebulican adversary gently through the window rather than tossing her throught it like Rebublican adversary #1. What a gentleman. I'd like to see him perform beside Hugh Jackman not on a battle of muscle but a battle of style and chivalry.
The camera likes the Rock. Everything he does seems faultless and enjoyable. The Rock is in the moment and aware of what is going on, seeing the whole picture and he never misses a cue.
Take a look at the Huffinton Post comments on his SNL performance and you will see nothing but praise for all his efforts with his greatest accolades for his incredible impersonation of President Barack Obama.
My prediction is that from this SNL appearance his popularity will skyrocket and i sincerly hope to see him do some very innovate comedy musical productions in the future.
Rock: it looks good on you
SNL: congrats on a great show
BTW as a kid i watched the very first SNL and have been a follower for a long time, good and bad. This show feels like you are back on track.
To all of those heavy hearts who have been affected by the economy, this is the kind of entertainment we need the most now.
Not only that but he is an uncrass polite gentleman in his delivery and performances. He is a team player who lets everyone share the spotlight. Much like Barack Obama.
The Rock Obama sketch was a huge hit for him and SNL. I sincerly hope they bring him back to more of these episodes like SNL has done with the MacGruber/MacGuyver small hits between sketches. On a side note this Mad TV style of ongoing gags is a receipe for success - remember the fake Spisshack product ads that Mad TV would run, or the Lowered expectations gags?
It was truly a stand up horray performance in your own living room to see the Rock become the angry Obama throwing knuckle headed Rebulicans through a window. We all want to see in real life Obama do the same to these people who put us all here in the first place, esp John McCain.
I was struck by his own knowlege of power and respect for women when he chose to carefully place his female rebulican adversary gently through the window rather than tossing her throught it like Rebublican adversary #1. What a gentleman. I'd like to see him perform beside Hugh Jackman not on a battle of muscle but a battle of style and chivalry.
The camera likes the Rock. Everything he does seems faultless and enjoyable. The Rock is in the moment and aware of what is going on, seeing the whole picture and he never misses a cue.
Take a look at the Huffinton Post comments on his SNL performance and you will see nothing but praise for all his efforts with his greatest accolades for his incredible impersonation of President Barack Obama.
My prediction is that from this SNL appearance his popularity will skyrocket and i sincerly hope to see him do some very innovate comedy musical productions in the future.
Rock: it looks good on you
SNL: congrats on a great show
BTW as a kid i watched the very first SNL and have been a follower for a long time, good and bad. This show feels like you are back on track.
To all of those heavy hearts who have been affected by the economy, this is the kind of entertainment we need the most now.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Sears Canada on verge of Bankurptcy ?
Sears is the General Motors of Retail in Canada. They directly and indirectly employ thousands of people across Canada from HQ executives, managers, translators, communications, and fashion buyers to big retail store sales people, floor stocking, shipping, and home delivery to Sears Outlet Stores, Sears small specialty chain stores in every small city and town across Canada and the grandaddy of catalogue delivery. And did you know Sears owns it's own shipping company SLH?
Sears Canada sold the HQ building at 222 Jarvis St. in 2008, at the height of the boom, which should look great on the 2008 books but says little about about overall picture of the health of the Canadian arm of Sears Holdings Corporation.
Shortly after moving employees into the leased and much smaller office space at the Eaton Centre downtown Toronto, Sears Canada laid off several hundred workers as they set up their desks and computers in the new location. As many as 300 people were laid off, "Don't get comfortable" was the word from HQ managers to employees. Many of these people had survived the the hacking and slashing of October 2006. A gift from hedge fund mogul Eddie Lampert and his newly created American based Sears Holdings Corp.
Many long standing Canadian VPs and others were laid off about 10 days ago without notice or notion that any layoffs were coming, the dismal economy and sales were apparently to blame for the sudden change of heart.
There are still many new layoffs waiting in the wings for middle managers and possibly entire departments yet to come as a source at Sears told me. The cuts are far from over.
At the last closed Sears Town Hall meeting Dean Rogers, the sitting temporary president of Sears Canada discussed the possibility of the unlikely bankruptcy of Sears Canada. Urged all current employees to maintain a positive attitude in this economic downturn with little assurances. Raising more questions and concerns than quelling them.
Sears Canada has been the most profitable segment of Sears Roebuck in the past years. And from all accounts Sears Canada now under ownership of Eddie Lamperts' Sears Holdings Corporation, the Canadian stores are the envy and role models for the American retail stores. Sears Holdings has tried vigorously to take the entire company private. But has been fighting with Canadian shareholders since 2006. At the same time the Walmartization of Sears Canada began with slashing of employee benefits and pensions, downsizing and selling off assets.
Blaming employees for not being competitive while executive reap millions in compensation for mediocre leadership is the flavour of the decade. Using massive buying power to leverage suppliers pricing forcing them to lower prices to such an extent that the only logical choice of origin of goods manufacture is in China. Then take employee benefits and pension plans away starting with the eldest and longest serving loyal employees and give the money to the foreign executives is all endemic of the greed and just another example of why our economy is spiraling downward.
Sears Canada has always been more profitable than the American counterpart for several reasons: catalog ordering in any small town, city, or itsy bitsy gas station 1000 miles from no-where Sears Catalog would deliver. Service and parts on home appliances. Store brands made by quality manufacturers such as Kenmore. Store locations, and demographics with middle class Canadians vrs American Sears stores are not located ideally and are perceived as a 2nd or 3rd best choice to shopping at competitors such as JC Penny, Target, etc.
Simply put; Sears Canada is a gold mine compared to other retailers and in my opinion would be better off not having the albatross parent company remotely pushing the buttons.
Its bad news when non-retailers get involved in retail, they don't understand the sexiness of fashion and style when dealing with the average buyer. Everything is numbers to them. Retail demands the need for high quality slick advertisements with lifestyle messages. just look at the Reitmans commercials and compare them to any Sears commercial. Sears is not sexy retail it's just boring retail. In fact in previous years you'd be hard pressed to find executives and managers that purchase clothing for themselves from Sears. Appliances yes clothing no. In recent years efforts have been made to get in better brands, trendier name brands in all departments. Sexier more trendy advertising has not followed.
Sears Canada had been very slow to take on competitors such as Leon's and The Brick with appliance and home furnishing sales. Sears suffers from the Apple computer syndrome, not telling people why they should choose Sears over every other store for any purchase. Not telling non customers why they are better than the rest and not creating compelling advertising for target markets especially television and newmedia / viral marketing opportunities.
Case in point, a few years ago a week before fathers day Sears Canada sent out a flyer to millions of homes across the country with a bra on the front cover. Not an invitation to come to Sears to shop for your fathers day present.. no that would make sense. Since then President Dene Rogers has made it his personal vendetta to oversee every flyer front page design. In the end it could be too little too late combined with being tied to a very large beast of a parent; when they go down they take everyone with them. I'm hopeful that is not the case with Sears Canada and I'm hopeful that they can survive this economy.
Sears Canada sold the HQ building at 222 Jarvis St. in 2008, at the height of the boom, which should look great on the 2008 books but says little about about overall picture of the health of the Canadian arm of Sears Holdings Corporation.
Shortly after moving employees into the leased and much smaller office space at the Eaton Centre downtown Toronto, Sears Canada laid off several hundred workers as they set up their desks and computers in the new location. As many as 300 people were laid off, "Don't get comfortable" was the word from HQ managers to employees. Many of these people had survived the the hacking and slashing of October 2006. A gift from hedge fund mogul Eddie Lampert and his newly created American based Sears Holdings Corp.
Many long standing Canadian VPs and others were laid off about 10 days ago without notice or notion that any layoffs were coming, the dismal economy and sales were apparently to blame for the sudden change of heart.
There are still many new layoffs waiting in the wings for middle managers and possibly entire departments yet to come as a source at Sears told me. The cuts are far from over.
At the last closed Sears Town Hall meeting Dean Rogers, the sitting temporary president of Sears Canada discussed the possibility of the unlikely bankruptcy of Sears Canada. Urged all current employees to maintain a positive attitude in this economic downturn with little assurances. Raising more questions and concerns than quelling them.
Sears Canada has been the most profitable segment of Sears Roebuck in the past years. And from all accounts Sears Canada now under ownership of Eddie Lamperts' Sears Holdings Corporation, the Canadian stores are the envy and role models for the American retail stores. Sears Holdings has tried vigorously to take the entire company private. But has been fighting with Canadian shareholders since 2006. At the same time the Walmartization of Sears Canada began with slashing of employee benefits and pensions, downsizing and selling off assets.
Blaming employees for not being competitive while executive reap millions in compensation for mediocre leadership is the flavour of the decade. Using massive buying power to leverage suppliers pricing forcing them to lower prices to such an extent that the only logical choice of origin of goods manufacture is in China. Then take employee benefits and pension plans away starting with the eldest and longest serving loyal employees and give the money to the foreign executives is all endemic of the greed and just another example of why our economy is spiraling downward.
Sears Canada has always been more profitable than the American counterpart for several reasons: catalog ordering in any small town, city, or itsy bitsy gas station 1000 miles from no-where Sears Catalog would deliver. Service and parts on home appliances. Store brands made by quality manufacturers such as Kenmore. Store locations, and demographics with middle class Canadians vrs American Sears stores are not located ideally and are perceived as a 2nd or 3rd best choice to shopping at competitors such as JC Penny, Target, etc.
Simply put; Sears Canada is a gold mine compared to other retailers and in my opinion would be better off not having the albatross parent company remotely pushing the buttons.
Its bad news when non-retailers get involved in retail, they don't understand the sexiness of fashion and style when dealing with the average buyer. Everything is numbers to them. Retail demands the need for high quality slick advertisements with lifestyle messages. just look at the Reitmans commercials and compare them to any Sears commercial. Sears is not sexy retail it's just boring retail. In fact in previous years you'd be hard pressed to find executives and managers that purchase clothing for themselves from Sears. Appliances yes clothing no. In recent years efforts have been made to get in better brands, trendier name brands in all departments. Sexier more trendy advertising has not followed.
Sears Canada had been very slow to take on competitors such as Leon's and The Brick with appliance and home furnishing sales. Sears suffers from the Apple computer syndrome, not telling people why they should choose Sears over every other store for any purchase. Not telling non customers why they are better than the rest and not creating compelling advertising for target markets especially television and newmedia / viral marketing opportunities.
Case in point, a few years ago a week before fathers day Sears Canada sent out a flyer to millions of homes across the country with a bra on the front cover. Not an invitation to come to Sears to shop for your fathers day present.. no that would make sense. Since then President Dene Rogers has made it his personal vendetta to oversee every flyer front page design. In the end it could be too little too late combined with being tied to a very large beast of a parent; when they go down they take everyone with them. I'm hopeful that is not the case with Sears Canada and I'm hopeful that they can survive this economy.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The 5 Worst TV Commericals on TV now
#1
I am going to start with the absolute worst commercial because
a) everyone must have seen these spots
b) its a high production value ad
c) it is so disgusting that it invokes an involuntary gag vomit reaction that forces me to immediately change the channel, mute the sound, or turn off the TV.
To the ad agency I ask ... WTF were you thinking when you came up with the Purina Dog Food campaign? Big tongued heavy breeds slurping food happily with excessively loud sounds while trying to breathe is not a unique feature to your food. Did you know that dogs will eat their own turds? In fact they will eat almost anything.
Cats on the other hand are finicky and these spots and efforts would be better suited for the little fluffies and kilter owners of the world.
When people hear dogs licking 'something' or gnawing down on something while trying to breathe i wouldn't hesitate to think that a large majority would fill in the sentence with the noun 'balls'. Did you try that little doosey on your focus groups? hmmm?
The Purina Dog Food Commercials are so obnoxious that I will never ever buy any of the Purina products just to avoid thinking about the bad commercials and I'll do anything to avoid looking at the Purina logo. Perhaps people who smear peanut butter on their nads would like these commercials. Perhaps these people work at the Ad Agency that made them?
On a similar note a friend recently told me that her friends (a married couple) recorded the birth of the first baby girl and they wanted to share it with her. My friend told me that she was not looking forward to hearing it. Beh, i said, what is the big deal, it's an after school special for 10 year olds? Then she proceeded to tell me that her friends husband at the time only had an MP3 recorder and he held it next to the vagina as the baby was being born. Imagine your stereo on volume 11, you are listening to all the vivid vaginal liquid sounds as the baby sluices down the canal. All of those sloshing, farting, slapping and dribbling into steel pans, followed by a blurt expulsion of a baby sounds don't make me want to have sex, in fact just thinking about the results of birth protection gone wrong and the consequences is a form of birth control in it self. I can see why my friend is not looking forward to this audio-riffic moment with her friends.
Like I said before dogs are going to eat anything regardless, people are going to have nasty sounding bowel movements regardless, recording them and putting them on TV is not going to make me buy more food, nor will it make me buy your food or product. This is a really shitty bunch of commercials IMO. nuff said. pfffft ooops there's a commercial for beer.
#2
Second worst commercial on TV today:
Discovery Channel sing along
... you know " i love the mountains... " song, but for me .. click tv off.
This commercial is just plain stupid and 30 seconds too long. I can watch this for exactly 3 seconds. This collection of out of tune Discovery Channel hosts singing different lines of the campfire barf-a-long song is pointless and uncreative. This song for 4 year olds is one of those tunes that is verboten once a child turns 5. This is a song that most normal people would never want to sing more than once even at gunpoint. To think that an adult would produce this as a commercial and actually get paid for it is Bank CEO derivative product sales worthy. Truly mind boggling.
Jay Ingram, don't ever sing again on TV please. I would love to have a beer with you but please just don't sing anymore. O-Tay?
#3
Mindlessly bad but with less effort and production values are the Sham Wow spots. On first view, my immediate question is "is that Gary Busey's anemic leather skinned younger brother that just got out of rehab offering to clean up my spills and dry my car as some sort of parole or community service requirement? or is it a mere coincidence the similarities in appearance and shadiness?"
This guy has a smile that crooked politicians and used car salesmen woud kill for.
I'm sure the product works great, i just can't stand looking at the delivery style, the headset, the face, the voice, the fake testimonials. If i ever see anyone using a Sham-wow for a beech towel i will ask this person if i can borrow money from them. Please don't make me explain that joke.
#4
Next up, the couch poncho. Bad product IMO, and even worse imagery.
Most people have a blanket, or comfy pajamas, warm track pants, maybe a fireplace, or spouse, kids, pets or something else nice to keep them comfy and warm while watching late night infomercials. Hell even a cup of herbal tea can work but this idea that people would want to wear a cheap blanket with a hole cut in the middle for your head is hardly even trailer park worthy. Yes i believe that there is a market for this glorified fleece moomoo I'm sure. Who doesn't like to walk around naked while wearing a giant food bib?
The highlight of the commercial is a single shot of a conservative shirt-tucked-in-pants belt-buckled family of rejects all wearing these neon coloured looser comforters at a baseball game in broad daylight. The big surprise to any sane viewer of this commercial is that they haven't been beaten to death yet.
#5
New on the hit list are these Kia Soul SUV commercials that for a month teased viewers with male drug addict alcoholic unshaven sweaty people looking inside a car window breathing heavily steaming up the glass. My first thought is this is a commercial for some rehab centre or a new public safety message on not locking your kids in the car while you shop. But now we see these scruffy males are much better than what we first might have thought. They are people that leave friends stranded in deep wells fighting for their lives. Quickly they run away from their friends in need to seek help although it appears they are running away for alibi purposes, regardless they spot these dirty Kia vehicles and pause and daydream. We assume they forget all about their dying buddies. nice. Where do i place an order? NOT.
I am going to start with the absolute worst commercial because
a) everyone must have seen these spots
b) its a high production value ad
c) it is so disgusting that it invokes an involuntary gag vomit reaction that forces me to immediately change the channel, mute the sound, or turn off the TV.
To the ad agency I ask ... WTF were you thinking when you came up with the Purina Dog Food campaign? Big tongued heavy breeds slurping food happily with excessively loud sounds while trying to breathe is not a unique feature to your food. Did you know that dogs will eat their own turds? In fact they will eat almost anything.
Cats on the other hand are finicky and these spots and efforts would be better suited for the little fluffies and kilter owners of the world.
When people hear dogs licking 'something' or gnawing down on something while trying to breathe i wouldn't hesitate to think that a large majority would fill in the sentence with the noun 'balls'. Did you try that little doosey on your focus groups? hmmm?
The Purina Dog Food Commercials are so obnoxious that I will never ever buy any of the Purina products just to avoid thinking about the bad commercials and I'll do anything to avoid looking at the Purina logo. Perhaps people who smear peanut butter on their nads would like these commercials. Perhaps these people work at the Ad Agency that made them?
On a similar note a friend recently told me that her friends (a married couple) recorded the birth of the first baby girl and they wanted to share it with her. My friend told me that she was not looking forward to hearing it. Beh, i said, what is the big deal, it's an after school special for 10 year olds? Then she proceeded to tell me that her friends husband at the time only had an MP3 recorder and he held it next to the vagina as the baby was being born. Imagine your stereo on volume 11, you are listening to all the vivid vaginal liquid sounds as the baby sluices down the canal. All of those sloshing, farting, slapping and dribbling into steel pans, followed by a blurt expulsion of a baby sounds don't make me want to have sex, in fact just thinking about the results of birth protection gone wrong and the consequences is a form of birth control in it self. I can see why my friend is not looking forward to this audio-riffic moment with her friends.
Like I said before dogs are going to eat anything regardless, people are going to have nasty sounding bowel movements regardless, recording them and putting them on TV is not going to make me buy more food, nor will it make me buy your food or product. This is a really shitty bunch of commercials IMO. nuff said. pfffft ooops there's a commercial for beer.
#2
Second worst commercial on TV today:
Discovery Channel sing along
... you know " i love the mountains... " song, but for me .. click tv off.
This commercial is just plain stupid and 30 seconds too long. I can watch this for exactly 3 seconds. This collection of out of tune Discovery Channel hosts singing different lines of the campfire barf-a-long song is pointless and uncreative. This song for 4 year olds is one of those tunes that is verboten once a child turns 5. This is a song that most normal people would never want to sing more than once even at gunpoint. To think that an adult would produce this as a commercial and actually get paid for it is Bank CEO derivative product sales worthy. Truly mind boggling.
Jay Ingram, don't ever sing again on TV please. I would love to have a beer with you but please just don't sing anymore. O-Tay?
#3
Mindlessly bad but with less effort and production values are the Sham Wow spots. On first view, my immediate question is "is that Gary Busey's anemic leather skinned younger brother that just got out of rehab offering to clean up my spills and dry my car as some sort of parole or community service requirement? or is it a mere coincidence the similarities in appearance and shadiness?"
This guy has a smile that crooked politicians and used car salesmen woud kill for.
I'm sure the product works great, i just can't stand looking at the delivery style, the headset, the face, the voice, the fake testimonials. If i ever see anyone using a Sham-wow for a beech towel i will ask this person if i can borrow money from them. Please don't make me explain that joke.
#4
Next up, the couch poncho. Bad product IMO, and even worse imagery.
Most people have a blanket, or comfy pajamas, warm track pants, maybe a fireplace, or spouse, kids, pets or something else nice to keep them comfy and warm while watching late night infomercials. Hell even a cup of herbal tea can work but this idea that people would want to wear a cheap blanket with a hole cut in the middle for your head is hardly even trailer park worthy. Yes i believe that there is a market for this glorified fleece moomoo I'm sure. Who doesn't like to walk around naked while wearing a giant food bib?
The highlight of the commercial is a single shot of a conservative shirt-tucked-in-pants belt-buckled family of rejects all wearing these neon coloured looser comforters at a baseball game in broad daylight. The big surprise to any sane viewer of this commercial is that they haven't been beaten to death yet.
#5
New on the hit list are these Kia Soul SUV commercials that for a month teased viewers with male drug addict alcoholic unshaven sweaty people looking inside a car window breathing heavily steaming up the glass. My first thought is this is a commercial for some rehab centre or a new public safety message on not locking your kids in the car while you shop. But now we see these scruffy males are much better than what we first might have thought. They are people that leave friends stranded in deep wells fighting for their lives. Quickly they run away from their friends in need to seek help although it appears they are running away for alibi purposes, regardless they spot these dirty Kia vehicles and pause and daydream. We assume they forget all about their dying buddies. nice. Where do i place an order? NOT.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Election USA, Banks, War, WTF just happened?
OK i know that for more than 2 years while house shopping I've thought that ... this craziness can't last. I've read articles about impending economic implosion based on 'money from the sky' relaxed lending policies. And I've also at the same time heard deep heartfelt flaky rants about GlobalWarming, and the Peak Oil crisis from over caffineated underachieving hype gobbling doomsday dominated brown bearded modern day hippies while trying to walk away backwards, slowly. War Images and terrorism on TV, fear mongering from the media and politicians, Canadians dying in Afganistan on a weekly basis are heavy news indeed. Fresh imagery of a hostile world with fast internet is greatly helping to create culture clashes and fuel power struggles, (yes we already know this).
It feels like the early 1970's all over again. Vietnam, hippies, gas crisis, Mary Tyler Moore, and Richard Nixon.
With the sudden and dramatic changes over the past 6 months all i can say is WTF just happened in a blink of an eye?
Last i remembered it was August/September mostly everyone is happily steaming along, gas in Canada was $1.25 a litre and to fill my tank was $80 or $90. There were rumblings about American looming mortgage crisis, GWB was on his way out but still everyday we heard his voice somewhere on TV news or comedy shows or the web, and I’m sure that simultaneously people all around the world shook their heads with disbelief that the worlds most powerful nation still lets this moron lead the country. The Canadian dollar was near par to the American dollar, it had been above for months, and colleagues, fellow freelancers were buying iPhones with stupidly expensive monthly packages, and renting out new more expensive apartments.
And then within about 3 weeks in November the shit literally hit the fan. The American economic 'free money to the banks with no strings' TARP rescue plan had been half implemented with no changes in the economic landscape and, still the economists refused to say 'recession' or the 'r' word.
After going thru the deep recession of the late 80's and early 90's with personal experience of hardship finding work fresh out of University, I'll say this; sure as shit it’s a recession if the popular media economists say roughly that they are not yet willing to use the 'R' word. My advice to you is SELL SELL SELL ! they are lying and buying time to save their own asses first.
December was dismal, nobody really knew what was going on except for the fact that people, seemingly unrelated to the banking crisis, started to loose their jobs. Gas prices were falling, a door to the WTF! information was opening slowly but, because of the retail power of xmas, and not wanting to spoil any 4rth quarter potential profits, most lips were sealed tight. One positive thing, gas was $.66 cents a litre, a tank was less than $50. un-f’n-believable, and to boot the CDN dollar was .15 cents lower than the US dollar. Confusing since Canada does not have the huge deficits that the US has, i think in December we were still operating with a budget surplus. So why all these dramatic changes? Read on.
January in Canada like all over the world, we stopped being productive for a day and watched the Obama Inauguration with a huge sense of relief and pride for Americans, I photo scanned the front page of the Toronto Star with a picture of Obama and the caption " A Dream Fulfilled". A nice memory for my pictures folder.
I can say that as a regular listener to NPR ‘This American Life’ and ‘Planet Money’ podcasts i do know a bit about what is going on in the financial world and it’s effects on the ordinary American, (and myself a Canadian). Clearly what i can say now after hearing Wednesdays ‘Planet Money’ podcast about saving the banks its like getting hit in the gut with a baseball bat. LINK Suddenly now it makes sense. I've heard Ira Glass struggle with the financial crisis and the election, and I've been following 'top' economists on a regular basis, esp the NPR people and now i will say that these people are now no longer struggling with what is happening and what has just happened.
A Dream Fulfilled has become a sudden screaming cold-sweat wakeup from an 8 year nightmare that most of us never knew the extent we were in. Yes liberals squrimed with GWB, the war, abomination of the Constitution and other suspensions of rights and freedoms, and uhh tax cuts for the uber wealthy. But people never really knew or thought about where all this would take us and the world.
The drop in the Canadian dollar? a result of panicking American investors getting out of the stock market and into US Gov't t-bills.
The drop in gas? Simple. A big drop in US demand as wallets slam shut on bad economic news, job losses, and home foreclosures, creates a sudden surplus.
The banks? simple, the biggest banks in the world are insolvent. They cannot pay pensioners monthly 'guaranteed' incomes, they cannot loan money or move money around because they have more liabilities than assets, and remember that every country around the world is affected because of individuals, public and private investors global portfolios.
A failed major American Bank means that Americans will lose their savings account balances, mortgages, pensions, AND any other country or individual who has financial interests in these institutions will also loose 'everything'. 8-) And if word got out what is going on, like 1929, there would be a run on the banks. That means thousands of people running to the bank, in person, to take their money out before everyone else does. close their accounts before the banks run out of money.... which is how Bernie Madoff go caught. People started asking for some cash back that he didn't have.
So that is why there is no option to let the banks fail. they have everyone over a barrel.
The only plan is (A) either the previous GWB Administration/Sept Henry Paulson plan: just give the money to the banks for free and let them continue in the same business fashion or (B), make them accountable for the money by giving them a loan, which is called Nationalization. This is what people want, they just don't like the real dictionary defined name for it. I hope they can make the connection and accept the unpalatable word for their own sake. Also along this rant is a note of how people use the word democracy. USA is a democratic REBUBLIC. Helping others in need does not mean SOCIALISM or a drop off the cliff to Marxism. Words seem to have so much power over people and these touchy words create a cognitive dissonance that breaks from reasonable societal practices, like republicans that don't want to nationalize the banks but want the banks to be accountable, you can't have both. its like dipping your toes and believing both creationism and darwinism exist simultaneously.
Take your pick because letting them fail is going to suck. Oddly enough it might be the quickest way to recovery.
A new president, that can speak English, an entirely new economic cloud and dismal future for the next few years, possibly a depression.
And my hopes for steady income or buying a home anytime soon have vanished as lending rules have just snapped shut with an audible.
WTF just happened indeed.
The rich repugs got away with a pot of gold and an extra bonus of taxpayer billions just before their paid for president leaves office, taking weeks to sift through the rubble to find the answers. Now we have them. We are Fucked.
For the uber rich and market smart that is one sweet victory after another.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Huffington Post - Spam worthy
I read the Huffington Post website on almost a daily basis, got involved in some of those comment frenzied days where GWB clones would reply with government speak. The page was simple there were few blogs by few people.
Now like comedy central i get these fukking HuffingtonPost updates in my email. The site itself covers garbage gossip issues, that appeal to the lowest common denominator and the quality of posting is poor.
I have no motiviation to visit the site anymore because it is just one blogger trying to outdo the next with speculation and prediction.
Give me ONE fukkin person that i can constantly read and enjoy ok?
Like the comics in a saturday paper... give me one. ok.
Otherwise i have marked you as spam.
Now like comedy central i get these fukking HuffingtonPost updates in my email. The site itself covers garbage gossip issues, that appeal to the lowest common denominator and the quality of posting is poor.
I have no motiviation to visit the site anymore because it is just one blogger trying to outdo the next with speculation and prediction.
Give me ONE fukkin person that i can constantly read and enjoy ok?
Like the comics in a saturday paper... give me one. ok.
Otherwise i have marked you as spam.
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